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More than 25 years after the scandal that made her name infamous, Monica Lewinsky is speaking out about the intense public backlash she faced - and why she refused to erase the last name that became one of the most explosive political controversies in modern history.
Lewinsky, who was a 22-year-old White House intern when her affair with then-President Bill Clinton became public in the late 1990s, said the fallout quickly turned into what she now describes as a form of "public burning."
"You fell in love with your boss. Yours just happened to be the president of the United States and the most powerful man in the world," the host of "The Jamie Kern Lima Show" said during a recent interview, adding, "And married."
"They need to own that," Lewinsky replied.
MONICA LEWINSKY BREAKS DOWN IN EMOTIONAL CONFESSION ABOUT CLINTON SCANDAL
As the scandal erupted, Lewinsky said the media frenzy surrounding her name was impossible to escape.
"I remember waking up and I lived in the Watergate apartment complex… newspapers down the entire hallway… and seeing my name there… for something that was awful and destructive to, to so many people personally… watching myself be torn apart," she said.
The intense scrutiny, she added, took a serious emotional toll.
"And I already had self-esteem issues. Like I wouldn't have been in this situation if I didn't have self-esteem issues," Lewinsky said. "I think that it was also reflective of… women. How we feel about women."
Comparing the backlash to historic moments of public condemnation, Lewinsky said the experience felt like a modern version of social punishment.
"You know, the same way that there were women tied to a post and burned at a stake and called a witch," she said. "It was not a physical burning, but a public burning, but an emotional burning."
The scandal itself also carried an unusual legacy - it became widely known not as the Clinton scandal but the "Lewinsky scandal," permanently tying her name to the controversy.
"It wasn't called the Clinton scandal," the host pointed out. "It was called the Lewinsky scandal… It's your name everywhere."
"And my family's name," Lewinsky added. "It's not even just, just me, but everybody who had my last name suffered."
MONICA LEWINSKY SAYS BILL CLINTON 'ESCAPED A LOT MORE THAN I DID' AFTER WHITE HOUSE SCANDAL
Lewinsky continued to detail the emotional weight of the scandal.
"There were a number of moments… where it just felt unbearable," she said. "I just did not think I could take another breath."
For years, Lewinsky said she was frequently asked why she didn't simply change her name to escape the association with the scandal.
"So many people have asked you, well, why didn't you just change your name?" the host said.
"Yeah. And I… thought about it," Lewinsky responded. "We discussed it many times in my family. And when I was sitting to write a resume, I thought about it again."
Ultimately, she said two things led her to keep the name.
"One was more effective life and the other was something stronger in my soul," Lewinsky explained.
Practically speaking, she said a legal name change likely wouldn't have worked because her name recognition was already so widespread.
"I don't know that actually would've been able to work," she said, explaining that by the time legal paperwork surfaced, "it would've been all over the newspapers."
But the deeper reason, Lewinsky said, came down to principle.
"I shouldn't have to change my name," she said. "I regretted and felt a lot of shame about many choices I'd made in my life… but I wasn't ashamed of who I was as a person."
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Lewinsky also pointed to a double standard she believes still exists when it comes to scandal.
"Someone asked you, well, why didn't you change your name?" the host said. "And you also said no one's ever asked Clinton to change his name."
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"Right," Lewinsky replied. "I don't think I've ever heard a man who's been through a scandal being asked."
"That is part of the… cloak of shame that women are expected to wear," she added.
Nearly three decades ago, Lewinsky, then a White House intern, had an affair with then-President Bill Clinton while he was in office. Clinton later faced impeachment proceedings in December 1998, while Lewinsky became a global target of ridicule and humiliation.
In recent years, Lewinsky has reemerged as an anti-bullying advocate and public speaker, frequently discussing the lasting consequences of public shaming and how the scandal continues to shape her life today.
